The Devastator: Horror is inside the house! Pop culture better run while it still can, because Horror has a knife and... Oh my god! They got Caitlin! Do you dare open this disgusting den of monster parodies? We go Van Helsing on Freddy Krueger, Frankenstein, The Thing, the guy in the dog costume from The Shining and more! Flip the book around for "Scary Stories to Tell Your Ungrateful Family in the Dark," a 90s horror book that'll scare kids straight... into appreciating their dads, and rightfully distrusting their mother's new boyfriend.
We gathered together our most "terror"-ific parodies yet! All these horror spoofs are coming from... inside the house. – The Devastator
"60-page behemoth of comics, stories, illustrations and fake reviews all poking fun at Fangoria's bread and butter. Frankly, they couldn't have done it any better."– Fangoria
"A literal treasure trove for genre fans, and obviously written by people who know and appreciate the source material that they're drawing from."– Dread Central
"I found myself repeatedly laughing out loud at inopportune public moments as I browsed my way around this publication."– Fanboy Comics
Scary Stories to Tell Your Ungrateful Family in the Dark
Foreword from a broken man
Throughout history, we have gathered to tell scary stories. It's something that people with families who haven't yet betrayed them still do to this day. We dim the lights and spin yarns about ghosts, creatures, and other made-up creepy-crawlies because we love to spook-culate about the things we fear the most.
But it's important to remember that the most horrifying monsters are the ones we live with every day. For example, your neighbor Ethan might seem like a great guy at first, offering to lend you a garden hose when your kids break yours clean in half somehow. Then, one day, you'll wake up and realize your wife Brenda has been carrying on with Ethan for months and is moving in with him, right down the street from the house you shared for twenty years.
Many of these frightening tales warn of things unseen – like haunting ghouls, whispers that drive a man mad, or the fact that your own children are willing to desert you for a man they just met, based solely on the fact that he owns a dune buggy.
Why do we love scary stories so much? Most people will say that they are simply for fun. The chill that runs down your spine when a spooky twist surprises you is hard to beat. There are lots of reasons we could give, but the correct reason is that they distract us from the sad and dreary monotony of existence.
Things That Go Bump
If there's one knock on your window at night,
Hide under the covers with all your might!
The fabled Bogeyman may try to bite!
If there are two knocks on your window at night,
Don't look out or you'll have a fright!
A werewolf might be out tonight!
But if there are three knocks on your window at night,
Don't worry, it's all right –
It's just Dad! It's just Dad!
I just need to know how Mom is doing!
(To the tune of "The Offaly Rover")