Excerpt
The hiss of a paint can sounded like a roar, even over the rumble of traffic on Sunset Boulevard. Tim's drunk-assed laugh snagged my attention. His fingers shook as he used a can of Krylon royal blue to put the finishing touches on an anatomically correct and obviously proud elephant.
"Dude," I said, "his shlong is longer than his trunk."
"Why do you think he's smiling?" Tim busted into another giggle fit, doubling over and clutching his gut.
"C'mon, Cody, you're supposed to be drawing," prodded Mike. "That's not a picture." He was kind of an ass, but it's hard to blow off a guy you've hung out with since third grade.
"Pardon me for being able to communicate with words."
"Is that a giraffe?" Tim said. He was sprawled on the concrete now, staring up at Mike's neon pink animal as it brayed a string of four-letter words across the zoo wall.
"No, moron," Mike said, "it's a zebra. Can't you see the stripes?"
"Looks like a giraffe."
"It's a frickin' zebra!"
Mike planted the toe of his Adidas in Tim's ribs, and Tim tried to nail him in the balls with his rattle can. Then they were both rolling on the sidewalk, thrashing each other.
Why couldn't they shut the hell up? Beer buzzed through my skull, making everything go sideways. The words spilling out of my spray can had a crazy tilt to them.
Whooooop! A siren shrieked. I jerked back and dropped my paint.
"Cops!" Mike was up in a second, bolting down the sidewalk for the woods. Tim wasn't so fast. He'd messed up his knee last fall when he totaled his stepdad's Jeep in the Terwilliger Curves.
"C'mon," I said, grabbing his arm. Red and blue lights flashed around us as I dragged him down the sidewalk—no easy feat, considering he had five inches and fifty pounds on me.
The siren got louder. I risked a peek over my shoulder. They were close, but if I ditched Tim I could make it.
He stumbled, wrenching my arm.
"Move it!" I said, yanking him up.
Behind us, the car screeched to a stop. Doors slammed, and footsteps pounded the asphalt.
We reached the end of the zoo wall, but I knew we couldn't make it through the trees in the dark and stay ahead of the cops.
"Shit, Cody. I can't get busted again!" Tim panted.
I remembered the last time—how his face had looked when his stepdad got done with him.
"Then get the hell out of here," I said, shoving him into the bushes.
As he disappeared I turned to face the cops.
"Good evening, officers!" I called. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to discuss this like gentlemen over a dozen donuts?"