Excerpt
"Are you done yet?" the blond woman, who had formed in my apartment from smoke, asked me. Clad in a pink bra, tiny vest, and billowy sheer pants, she reminded me of an actress from an old, cheesy TV show, almost uncannily so. Seriously, the blond genie that stood in front of me with her sardonic smile would have sent copyright lawyers salivating at the fees they'd earn. If they could have seen her. And if she hadn't wished them away.
"You… you're a genie! But that was a ring, not a lamp!" I spluttered, the ring that the smoke had streamed from still clutched in my hand in a death grip.
"Jinn! And yes, I am. What may I do for you, Master?" the genie said. Turning her head, she looked around my bachelor suite with a flicker of distaste. "Maybe a bigger residence?"
"You're a genie…" I stared at the blonde, my mind caught in a circular trap as it struggled with the insanity in front of it. After all, genies didn't exist. But there, in front of me, was a genie.
"Oh, hell. I really can't wait for this entire 'enlightenment' period to be over," the genie said with a roll of her eyes after I just continued to stare at her blankly. She turned away from me and walked around the room before she stopped at my micro-kitchen to open the fridge. Bent over, she fished inside before extracting day-old fried rice and popping a bite into her mouth. A conjured spoon later, she was digging into last night's dinner and prodding my stove, flat-screen TV, and laptop. "What is this?"
"Fried rice."
"I know what fried rice is. And this isn't bad," she complimented me, ignoring my mumbled thanks while she pointed at the TV screen and then laptop. "This. And this."
"TV and laptop."
"Huh." She returned to the TV before she prodded at it a few more times and inevitably adjusted its angle. "That's amazing. I guess your science actually does have some use. Well, outside of indoor plumbing. That isn't as good."
My brain finally stopped going in circles after I decided to stop trying to actually understand what was going on. If I had a genie in my house, I had a genie. "So, your name isn't Jeannie, is it?"
"Do I look like a Jeannie to you?"
"Well…"
"The Seven Seals!" The genie flickered, and the previously blonde creature transformed into a black-haired, hawk-nosed Middle-Eastern woman…with considerably less clothing than before, which should have been a challenge. "Call me Lily. What's yours?"
"Uhh…"
"Aaargh!" Lily stared at her clothing and then stared at me for a moment. A second later, she was clad in a T-shirt that said "I Aim to Misbehave" and a pair of jeans. I would admit I found the new clothing options even more distracting, especially since they were an exact replica of what I was wearing.
"I'm Henry. And what was that about?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all," Lily snapped at me and waved her spoon at my laptop. "What is a 'laptop'?"
"A portable computer," I explained.