Excerpt
I guess I could start my story by telling you about the school assembly on Monday morning. It will give you a good idea of what has been happening to me.
I pushed into the third row of the auditorium and dropped down beside my best friend, Bill Buzzner. (Everyone calls him Buzzy.) I had no idea that I was about to freak out and go totally wacko in front of the whole school.
My name is Sammy Baker. I'm twelve, and I never freak out or lose my cool or go berserk. I'm probably the quietest, nicest, most law-abiding, rule-following, do-good kid at Grover Cleveland Middle School. Ask anyone.
Even Miss Flake, my teacher, says I am the least trouble of any of her students. She says that's her highest compliment. Miss Flake says she would give me a gold star for attitude and a gold star for behavior. Except she doesn't believe in giving gold stars.
Miss Flake is very funny. She is always cracking jokes. She even makes fun of Mr. Harkness, the principal. She croaks in a deep, booming voice and struts around with her eyes popped out until she almost looks like a big frog. Just like Mr. Harkness. It always makes us roar.
She tells everyone that she has been a Flake her whole life.
I like a teacher with a good sense of humor—don't you? I don't even mind all the homework she gives us—at least two hours a night.
But today I wasn't laughing. We were supposed to go on a field trip to a farm where they make maple syrup. I mean, where they tap the trees and collect the syrup in buckets. Then we were all supposed to get a big pancake lunch with real maple syrup.
But the trip had to be canceled because Mr. Harkness decided to invite Mayor Springfield to school for an assembly about city government.
City government? Big whoop, right?
No field trip. No pancakes. And a boring lecture.
As we took our seats in the auditorium, I wanted to complain to Buzzy about how unfair it was. But he was talking to Summer Magee, who sat on his other side.
I couldn't blame him for ignoring me. Summer is one of the hottest girls in school. I've had a mad crush on her since third grade, when we built a volcano together for the science fair.
Summer saved my life when the volcano exploded and a wave of burning hot lava gushed onto the front of my T-shirt. She grabbed the shirt in both hands—and ripped it off my body before I was too badly burned. The class went wild.
I've had a thing for her ever since.