Excerpt
Often have I thought that undertakers are the happiest of men.
The opportunity to endure one's life over again is a dire prospect; but were it to happen, I might well choose the mortuarial trade, in preference to that which I inherited. My father animated that which had been inert, cogged brass and ribboned spirals of baser metal; that I might lay the once-alive into their coffins and then to mouldy earth, would complete the Ouroboric circle he and I shared.
"Mr Dower…" A voice, dark in timbre, spoke close to my ear. "Everything is to your satisfaction, I trust?"
The man seemed born to follow behind crêpe-decked hearses, skeletal fingers reverently spidered tip-to-tip; the very caricature of his calling – such was the one who, bending forward in the church aisle, peered at me.
My words knotted in my throat. She is dead, you heartless mummering bastard – unspoken, but cried out in silence. How satisfied was I expected to be?
"All is quite…" My own hands clenched to fists in my lap, where they had been folded atop my frayed gloves. "Pleasing." Life-long cowardice overwhelmed the newly minted rage and grief in my heart. "Your concern, and your services, are appreciated."
He smiled – thus again my conviction as to the cheer of undertakers. Who else smiles at funerals? That which marches toward us, however we avert our eyes and thoughts, its measured tread inevitable and invincible – to that corvine breed it is equally certain, but heart-lifting as the clatter of coins dropped in a merchant's cashbox.
Of course, I hated the man.
And I might even have demonstrated as much – at last – despite the reserve characteristic of our English breed. The scent of him summoned my gorge into my throat; as this person's kind was wont to do, an attempt had been made to mask the acrid scent of those embalming fluids which had over time seeped into his greying flesh, with that musty lavender reminiscent of old ladies' parlours. Better had he not; the combination of chemical and ancient flower was nearly as appalling, or perhaps even more so, than his obsequious manner. If I had brought my whitened knuckles hard upon his invasive nose, the blow might have been launched by not just anger, but the need to draw an unencumbered breath into my lungs.
The appearance of an angel, bobbing just beyond the other's hunched shoulders, forestalled such an attack.
Cherub, technically; I knew that much. The lack of Christian instruction in my long-fled youth was filled instead by acquaintance with the paintings of those old masters viewed in museum galleries. Often have I gazed upon scenes of saints and their Saviour, and noted the depiction about them of fluttering, chubbish creatures much like that which now hovered closer by.