Despite possessing Bachelor's and Master's Degrees in Aerospace Engineering from Georgia Tech, G.M. Nair is the author of the DUCKETT & DYER: DICKS FOR HIRE sci-fi/mystery/comedy series. When he isn't penning silly things, he works as an aviation and aerospace consultant in New York City.

Duckett & Dyer - Dicks for Hire by G.M. Nair

Michael Duckett is fed up with his life. His job is a drag, and his roommate and best friend of fifteen years, Stephanie Dyer, is only making him more anxious with her lazy irresponsibility. Things continue to escalate when they face the threat of imminent eviction from their palatial 5th floor walk-up and find that someone has been plastering ads all over the city for their Detective Agency.

The only problem is: Michael and Stephanie don't have one of those.

Despite their baffling levels of incompetence, Stephanie eagerly pursues this crazy scheme and drags Michael, kicking and screaming, into the fray. Stumbling upon a web of missing people curiously linked by a sexually audacious theoretical physicist and his experiments with the fabric of space-time, the two of them find that they are way out of their depth. But unless Michael and Stephanie can put their personal issues aside and patch up the hole they tore in the multi-verse, the concept of existence itself may, ironically, cease to exist.

Finalist in the first Self-Published Science Fiction Competition (SPSFC), sister to SPFBO.

Indie Ink Award 'Funniest' Finalist

Indie Fantasy Fund 2022 Award Winner

CURATOR'S NOTE

Writing humour is hard. Making people laugh is such a personal thing. This is especially true for the fantasy genre. It takes real wit to write lines which make you laugh out loud. That's what GM Nair did for me. I giggled endlessly.

Michael Duckett and Stephanie Dyer are highly implausible detectives. He is anxiety-prone Michael while she is stress-inducing. They are best friends from school, loners and outcasts and it's this relationship which acts as the foundation for the novel and the humour. They are a double act. Michael is Bud Abbott, Steph is the lazy, apparently stupid and chaotic Lou Costello.

Their investigations take them into an Alice in Wonderland multi-verse where they encounter a manic cow monster with weird genitalia and a fractal landscape inhabited by cowboys. You have no idea what's coming your way till it smacks you in the face. I loved this story. It brought a light-heartedness to my world that I enjoyed, so much so I went on to read the rest of the series! I recommend it very highly! – Simon Kewin

 
 

BOOK PREVIEW

Excerpt

PROLOGUE

So This Is How It Ends . . .

"Listen, it's not the worst idea I've ever had. And it certainly won't be the last," Stephanie Dyer said, just moments away from her death. The energies of the rip in multidimensional space-time crackled behind her, silhouetting her body and casting a shuddering, uneven blue pallor across the hardwood floor. Pushing her fringe of hair out of her eyes, Stephanie surveyed the living room one last time. It was a bit different than she remembered it. It hadn't been that long, had it? A calming sense of nostalgia warmed her chest as she took stock of the scuffed, scratched floors and the body of the old woman that lay, unmoving, by the overturned armoire.

As she turned to face the swirling blue abyss, the other conscious occupant in the room stirred. Clutching his side, Stephanie's oldest friend Michael Duckett struggled to remain on his feet by bracing himself on the back of the armoire. Michael looked tired. Not as tired as she was — not by a country mile — but tired nonetheless. She couldn't blame him. It had been a long road, and it would have to end here.

"Please," he said, "We have do this together."

"No, Michael," she refused to meet his gaze, "I need to do this alone. I started this loop and I need to close it. And to do that, I need you to trust me."

"Steph—"

"I know I haven't given you any reason to, and I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and fix that. But I tried and look how that ended up," Stephanie chuckled before composing herself. She turned to him and their eyes met for what felt like infinity, "So for once, can you just pretend that I know what I'm doing?"

The room around them stood quiet. There was no movement aside from the rotating portal that hung in the middle of room over the toppled coffee table.

"I'm sorry," he continued, attempting to push up the glasses that had been lost long ago. "I'm sorry I called you an embarrassment."

Stephanie felt the hint of a grin form at the corner of her mouth. "But I was an embarrassment."

"Yeah. But you're not supposed to say that," Michael returned a tentative smile that left before it could fully form. He looked away. "But you've always been my best friend. And . . . and you were right, too."

"About what?"

"It was kinda fun to play detective with you. Just like it used to be when we were kids."

Stephanie could do nothing but nod, with words caught in her throat. She couldn't bring herself to explain what this meant to her. It would be too complicated. It was always too complicated. She didn't understand it most times.

"I . . . " Michael sputtered a bit. "I don't want you to die."

"Neither do I! You think I'm doing this for my health?" Of course, trying to lighten up dour times with a joke was Stephanie's natural instinct, and her last moments were no exception. But, to her credit, she pivoted right back into earnest sincerity. "You're my best friend, too, Michael. I'm trying to help you, like you always did for me. Just think of this as my way of saying thank you."

"For what?"

"For putting up with me," Stephanie winked and let out a small sigh before turning to the portal, which had begun to emit a low, angry hum. She didn't know what lay on the other side but, in her heart, she knew that the next jump would be her last. The story couldn't end any other way. And she had to try to end it. It had to be her.

So Stephanie leapt headfirst into the roiling tides of the space-time continuum, letting the blue energies wash over her body one last time. As she left this universe and this time behind, she closed her eyes, all too ready for the inevitable.

It may have been the end, but at least it was a pretty badass way to go.