Excerpt from "Here, Kitty Kitty":
I dove behind my desk as my miniature Zen garden went whizzing past me. The garden's stone base slammed into the wall right about where my head had been a split second ago, sand rained down into my hair, and I wondered what else I'd left lying around the front office that the little fairy might decide to throw at me.
My name's Dee, and I'm a private investigator. Clients usually don't show up at my office and launch deadly weapons at me. Along with my partner Diz, I run D & D Investigations. People—and by that I'm loosely referring to elves, leprechauns, Greek gods, and my family—hire us to find loved ones who've gone missing.
We rent office space in a shabby building on the inland side of Moretown Bay. The neighborhood's seen better times, but I like it. A masseuse with a unique flair for marketing and questionable taste in aromatics has a shop across the street, and there's an Asian store next to the office run by a very nice lady who two days ago introduced me to the little fairy currently hovering over my desk and yelling at me in Japanese.
I don't speak Japanese. I think my dog might since his usual Golden Retriever grin was dialed up to a near giggle.
"Want to let me in on the joke?" I asked him as I crouched behind my desk clutching my battered executive chair like it was a shield.
Dog didn't say anything. He only speaks to me in my visions. And yes, that's his name until he tells me otherwise.
We'd been having a nice afternoon at the office, Dog and I, up until the fairy barged through the door. Diz was off doing whatever tall, grumpy, gorgeous elves do—by themselves—after they crack a case with their partner. Dog had been curled up asleep in a small patch of actual sunshine coming through the front windows. I didn't blame him. Clouds, rain, and mist are the norm in Moretown Bay. Rare slices of sunshine should always be celebrated with a good nap. My cat was probably doing the same thing in my upstairs apartment unless she was still pouting. She hasn't quite forgiven me for allowing a dog to invade her life.
Faced with an office full of sleeping animals and no cases to work on, I'd been trying to distract myself from obsessing over my terminally single state, this time with Zen meditation. Diz told me recently that I should learn to live in the moment and enjoy the process instead of focusing so hard on the results. He thinks that might help me control my visions. I'm not an elf or a fairy or any other brand of magical folk. Vanilla human, that's me, only with a seriously unreliable touch of precognition. Since I suck at living in the moment, I thought learning Zen meditation might help, hence the little desk-top sand garden I'd purchased at the Asian market two days ago.
I'd been sitting at my desk raking lines in that stupid little plot of sand for what seemed like hours, trying to stop thinking about my partner's pointy ears and the one time I'd witnessed the tantalizing curve of his towel-covered derriere and just be in the moment, when our latest supposedly happy client flew in the door, picked up the Zen garden, and threw it at my head. I ducked just in time. She's got quite an arm for someone only ten inches tall.
"Okay, okay!" I said from behind the safety of my desk. Which, let's face it, isn't all that safe when the fairy hurling weapons at your head can fly just about anywhere she wants to. "I get that you're angry. Want to let me in on why?"
After all, Diz and I found the ceramic figurine the fairy had hired us to find. We don't normally track down missing objects, but Mrs. Takahashi, the nice lady who owns the Asian store, had asked... well, nicely. Two days after we were hired, we delivered the four-inch tall, white ceramic figurine of a cat to Mrs. Takahashi, who thanked us profusely and assured us she would give it to the fairy right away.
That had been two hours ago. It was pretty safe to say something had gone wrong, I just had no idea what.